Extra A 49 v Tring 2s 10

As must all good things, the Extra A’s league season came to a close on Saturday, with a tough trip away to Tring, a team who defeated us at home comfortably on the first day of the league season all those months ago. It was to be a stern test of how far we have really come as a team this season, after gaining promotion from division 2 last year. We again boasted an extremely youthful side with our leader, Matt Slade, 5 (long) years senior to anyone else in the team. Dean Boyle *applause* pointed out before the game that he was second oldest, and that 'he wasn’t 28, and it would be less than a year until his 30th'. Other people call this phenomenon ‘29’.

The ground was solid, the sun was out and the slope, as always at Tring, was prominent. Our hosts kicked us off and we were into the fray immediately with strong carries from Jamie Gage and Ollie Radley. We attacked with intent from the outset, half back pair Banks and Boyle releasing the outside backs well. After we’d set up good field position just inside the 22 Tring infringed at the breakdown and Slade pointed at the posts, allowing Sperm to kick the simple 3 points. Tring re-started and once again we piled on the pressure with meaningful carries from winger Joe Marsh and centre Alex Tindall. It wasn’t long before our first try; after Baker and Optimus did well to tie in the defence the ball was worked through the hands of Boyle and Sperm to Stapleton, who showed his power to bundle over in the corner. Our second of the day came soon after, through the largest child I’ve ever seen- 17 year old, Seb Brownhill (pictured looking very smart) who hit an excellent short line and strolled in under the posts for a 7 pointer.

Tring exerted some pressure of their own following this, and as we absorbed phase after phase of hard running from the hosts we were able to repel them with some committed defence across the park. As the half wore on, we began to try and play a little bit too much and we began to make unforced errors and concede needless penalties (if you are a frequent reader of my 3rd team novels you will notice that this isn’t uncommon when we are in control of a game). This was typified by 2 of our biggest morons, the Bens, Law and Harrison; the former (county player FYI) trying to keep a Tring clearance kick in play and pushing it over the try line to gift them a 5m scrum, and the latter constantly sticking his tongue out whilst dropping the ball.

Anyway, we were able to score once more in the half, after another strong Seb Brownhill break, he offloaded to Slade who rolled back the years to gallop 20 yards and feed Banksy inside who could not be caught before touching down under the posts. Tring fired back for the final few minutes of the half, and after another several phases of close carries, they set up a maul and rolled over for 5 points of their own.

At half time we had a reasonably comfortable 22-5 lead, but hadn’t at all played our best Rugby.

At half time we introduced fresh legs in the form of Macca, 29 year old Dean Boyle and Adam Eagle, with Optimus, Radley and Marsh making way for the time being. The second half started brightly; after we were awarded a scrum within our opponent’s half centre Alex Tindall ran an exceptional line and as he was clung onto by the desperate defence, he was able to pop the ball to our angelic flanker, Ben Baker, to score close to the posts. Tring fought back though and our complacency mixed with some determined running from them allowed them to score again. We flew back immediately following this, as the Banks show really started- we saw the scrum half counter ruck on Tring ball, hack it through, pick it up and score in the corner. I for one believe he deserves at least a chance in the 2s. Sperm was to the fore next, after excellent interplay from Eagle and Radley, the ball ended up in Macca’s hands running towards the corner; Macca, somewhat unbelievably, dummied inside, carried forward and then offloaded out the back of the hand for Sperm to use his brute force and power over in the corner. Tiarnan Kelly spent some time running around most of the Tring side, then Eagle butchered a try. It’s approaching half 5 now, so yeah, Banksy and Stapleton both scored again, and we won 49-10.

Man of the match wasn’t easy, after Gage, Baker, Radley and Banks all impressed. But Seb Brownhill (who will be dangerous when he hits puberty) was immense over the ball, scored a try and carried superbly all afternoon. Dick of the day yielded a pretty lengthy list, as follows:

- Ben Law; wearing full Herts Stags tracksuit, talking about Herts Stags, being a Herts Stag, knocking the ball off for a 5m scrum. Getting back into his Stags tracksuit, nibbling all afternoon about being a Herts Stag.
- Ben Harrison, playing Rugby with tongue out like a dog (though I’d back the dog in a spelling competition).
- Optimus/Ben Millard:
Optimus: “No, I don’t wanna come back to the changing room before the game, it’s such a long walk”
Millard: “We are coming back in. Optimus, I’m adding valuable minutes to your life by making you do this.”
- Ben the saint Baker; attempting a Kobe style offload that went 8 yards forwards.
- Ash Boyle; chipping ahead when there was literally nobody in front of him.
- Dean Boyle; aforementioned age comment.
However, Adam Eagle managed to leave most of the Tring defenders in his wake on a mazy run, only to TOTALLY butcher it and get turned over on the line, so he got the pint.

Great season which leaves us finishing in 4th place, which is excellent considering this was our first season back in the top division. There were many outstanding performances this season, predominantly from me, which has led to many more highs than lows for the Extra A. We now concentrate on the cup, but whatever happens, we will be having one monumental p*ss up when the season is done. Watch this space!