Extra A 75 v Old Haberdashers 2s 12

Extra A 82 – 12 Old Haberdashers 2s

The Extra A were home alone on Saturday, which meant we were able to host our visitors, Old Haberdashers 2nd team, on the first team pitch. Unfortunately, our visitors turned up 2 men short, and so we had to adhere to the ridiculous league rules and lend them a player, starting the game with 14 players each. Thanks to good guys Tiarnan Kelly and James Copper, both of whom played a half for Habs.

Stortford kicked off and immediately began to assert pressure as Habs tried to play their way out of trouble. It took only 5 minutes for us to register our first try of the day, which went to 'T' after returning student Oli Radley put in an outrageous cross field kick, which then took a dodgy bounce. This early score set the tone for the majority of the rest of the half, although on too many occasions early on we seemed to confuse ourselves for Fijian sevens specialists rather than Bishop’s Stortford’s 3rd fifteen, which saw a lot of offload attempts go to ground rather than hand. Things did start to come off a bit better for us as we settled in a bit, and the backs, bossed by young scrum half Fred Hatton and king of the pass Ashley Boyle, were able to make serious indents into the Habs defence. Our pack carried the ball well and seemed to punch holes every time they carried, especially Dean Boyle and Sam Read, both of whom were playing out of position. Habs to their credit did keep coming at us, and our defence, led by the savage that is Tank were able to repel them. We scored several more tries before the half was up, and Habs were able to grab one of their own before the half was finished.

One of our tries was scored by Andrew Mackenzie, which (very f*cking sadly) truly ends the era of Macca no tries/Andy the assist. We will now either have to find someone else to pick on (not me- I score when I want), or, perhaps a more favourable option would be to dig Macca out about something else? Either option shouldn’t be difficult.

The second half kicked off and we went straight back on the offensive as Habs tired. We had also introduced fresh legs in the form of Joe Marsh and Cal Brown. As we decided to play from anywhere there were some true champagne moments in the second half- mixed with a lot of sh*t- which saw us really hammer home our lead. Habs kept coming and scored one more of their own, after we became lazy in defence.

Man of the match was actually easier than D*ck of the day this week, as we admittedly let our standards slip due to the nature of the game. Pablo, Hatton and both Boyles were discussed, but Oli Radley was the standout player; his carrying and work over the ball was first rate.

Dick of the day contenders included most people, ones that stick in my mind are Joe Marsh (falling over inexplicably), Alex Tindall (his pass is as good as his mind is quick) but Ben Stapleton (scorer of 3 tries) threw possibly the worst pass any of us have ever seen. Interestingly, Ben managed to down his pint in 2 attempts, which is the best I’ve ever seen him do.

Try scorers were as follows:

- Stapleton – 3
- Tindall – 2
- Sperm – 2 (shock)
- Ash Boyle – 1
- Tiarnan Kelly – 1
- Radley – 1
- Read – 1
- Macca – 1
- Tank – 0

11 out of 12 conversions from Sperm left the score at 82-12, truly laying to rest our defeat away to Habs earlier this season. We finish our league season with a trip to Tring after Easter.