Extra A 83 v Hemel Hempstead 2s 5

The sun was shining on a beautiful day for running Rugby at Silver Leys on Saturday as the Extra A faced a battling Hemel Hempstead 2nd team in their penultimate league game of the season. The Blues fielded what was definitely their most youthful side of the year, with colts Dan De Franca (Prop), Brody Mitchell (Hooker) and Sam 'Sonic' Allan (Wing) all making their senior debuts for the club.

Stortford kicked off and asserted their dominance early, turning the ball over within a minute and eventually forcing a penalty within the Hemel half which Sperm sent into the corner. After a neat catch and drive from the resultant lineout and some strong pick and drive efforts, scrum half Alex Walsh was the victim of foul play as he made his way toward the line, this left the referee with no option but to award a penalty try for Stortford's first 7 points. It took only another few minutes for the second, Sperm going in under the posts from a solo effort (shock). The Extra A dominated the set piece, winning almost every scrum against the head; an impressive feat for a front 5 that featured 3 colts, and a front row who's average age was just 18. We also disrupted a lot of opposition lineout ball, John Carter proving a nuisance as ever and forming a formidable second row partnership with 17 year old young gun Joe Tracy. The rest of the half really was one way traffic, with the Stortford backs showing their superior speed of foot and thought with ball in hand; this saw further first half tries for Walsh, Roberts, Tindall (2) and our veteran number 8 David Rose running in down the wing from his own 10 meter line, like a horse running in custard. Sperm was successful with 6/7 conversions, leaving the half time score at 47-0.

Half time saw the introduction of TV's Mr Drew; a morale boost for all (that raise the average age of the front row by 20 years). However, It must be said that Stortford became somewhat complacent at the beginning of the second half, allowing the Hemel centre to break two tackles and register their only try of the match. Stern words were had and normal service was resumed shortly after when prolific centre Mikey Roberts went over for his second after a neat backs move from the set piece. Sperm, not to be outdone by his metal stealing friend, scored next after a classy offload by De Franca in midfield. Ben Baker then showed that he isn't just a tackling machine, making two exceptional breaks from his own half only to be hauled down just short on both occasions; probably told he wasn't allowed to score by his girlfriend. It was not long before the next try was added by Baroosh's favourite punter and everybody's favourite dude, Stigdog, who rolled back the years as he beat 3 defenders to score under the posts. With 20 minutes to play, Ronan Ryan proved his versatility by moving from flanker to scrum half, having a fine performance in both positions. Mikey Roberts went on to show his pedigree as our leading try scorer with 2 more tries in quick succession, the second of which was converted with the golden left peg of none other than Stig. The final try deservedly went to winger Jonny Blackwell, who'd made great yards all day only to be stopped short on each occasion. Stiggy, with his tail firmly in the air after his impressive conversion, strolled up and calmly drop kicked the final conversion of the day to round off an emphatic victory for the Extra A.

A game like this always chucks up some comedy moments, so here they are:

- Our captain Matt Slade not being available, only to turn up and watch the whole game.
- Steve Drew and his opposite man in possibly the softest collision ever to take place on a Rugby field, prompting laughs from both sides whilst the ball was still live.
- An opponent giving Sperm verbal abuse about his side's lack of talent, when we were 50+ points up.
- Blackwell (dreamboat) failing to score until the last play, after approximately 10 chances in space.
- Stiggy insisting on being called Jonny after his two 'perfect strikes' (his words).
- Ben Millard definitely not coming on for the last two minutes at number 8..

Man of the match went to Ed Rudge for a sterling performance in the scrums and around the park (Oliver 'Jonny' Stigwood was devastated). D**k of the day went to newcomer Sam Sonic Allan for being the only back not to score; maybe a bit harsh when playing outside of Pikey Mikey, who grips the ball as firmly as he does a stolen brass tap.

This sets up our final league game of the year with Hackney, which is HUGE. We are both joint on points in second place, so it is essentially a second place play off on the 18th April; we must travel with our strongest squad!