Extra A 36 v Hampstead 3s 26

Not the ideal morning for the Extra A on Saturday; captain fantastic Matt Slade pulled out an hour before the meet time with what can only be described as a ‘boo boo ouchie’ on his little finger. But the show must go on, and VC Neil 'sperm' Spalding inherited the wonderful task of rounding up our 14 players and getting over to Hampstead. Special mention to Karl Brender at this point for responding to the SOS call and coming with us.

We arrived bang on 15:00 (Kick off time) due to traffic, parking 2 miles from the pitch and generally being useless. To their credit, Hampstead were very good about starting late and even lent us a player to make the numbers up; that’s the spirit.
So with no warm up, the game kicked off. Bishop’s Stortford started strongly with the forwards producing some quick ball and the backs making serious inroads into the Hampstead defence; Craig and Mike in the centres showing excellent power and pace to put the opposition on the back foot. The deadlock was broken on about 10 minutes, when a hole opened up in the midfield for fly half Spalding to go under the posts and convert his own score for a 7 point lead. We unfortunately lost lock Ross Thiele at this point due to a torn hamstring. It took only another 7 minutes for Stortford to strike, this time through dangerous centre Craig, who took an inside crash line, broke 2 tackles and beat the fullback to go in under the posts for an excellent solo try. The conversion was again (just) added.

It was now the turn of the hosts to apply the pressure, and after some resolute Blue defence inside centre Craig was shown a harsh yellow card for team repeat infringements. The hosts showed good hands and stretched the Bishops Stortford defence to score in the corner; the conversion was missed. Still down to 13 men, Stortford struggled to cope with the pressure and it was only 3 minutes before Hampstead scored again despite the efforts of hard tackling fullback Oliver Stigwood. The conversion was again added. Not to be outdone, the Bishop’s Stortford forwards rallied together to win some more clean ball which was produced to the backs, and excellent inter-play between Mike and winger Dan Giles saw the latter go in in the corner. The conversion was missed. Soon after the restart, quick ball was again produced from the forwards with scrum half Banks moving the ball swiftly, and it was again the turn of Spalding, who showed a dummy that no one should ever buy, to open up a hole and score on the left hand side. He missed the conversion, again.

The half time whistle went, Stortford with a lead of 24-12 at the half way point. Centre Craig was re-introduced from his sin bin 1 minute after the restart so we were back to 14 men (not fun). The hosts were the first to strike in the second half, earning a 5 metre scrum and using their 1 man advantage to push us back over the line. The conversion was added and this suddenly became a very close contest. The hosts continued to apply pressure but outstanding defence meant that nothing came from it. Special mention at this point goes to Andrew Mackenzie, Max Oliver and in particular Graham Pearman, for excellent tackling and counter rucking throughout.

The Extra A struck next, through centre Mike, who showed excellent pace to beat 4 players and go in unopposed, Spalding uncharacteristically added the extras. The final score again went to the Blues, Craig this time finding a hole and scoring in the corner, Spalding returned to usual kicking form and the ball sailing approximately 40 metres right of the upright from the tee. This was to be Craig’s final act of the day, as he had to leave the pitch after a nasty knock to the head. The blues were back down to 13- joy. Inevitably, the hosts mounted the pressure and continuously attacked the wide channels with their 2 man advantage, but excellent aggressive defence meant that they did not cross the line until the very last play of the game; fair enough, have that one. An excellent conversion saw the final score 36-26 in favour of the Blues.

Mentions go out to Karl Brender and Gareth Abbot for making up our front row and putting in sterling performances. Man of the match would have been Graham Pearman, but he didn’t come into the pub, so f*ck him. It was instead awarded to their player who played for us, Rich, for being the only Hampstead player to win that day. Stand in skipper Spalding took one for the team and gave himself d*ck of the day for turning up late, not having a full squad, saying they were sh*t in a team talk when one of their players was with us, missing kicks, having a great beard and generally being a bellend. Did he down the pint of Ale quicker than the 3 Hampstead lads? Of course he did.

Onwards and upwards.