Extra A 28 v Hertford 3s 29

The Extra A welcomed Hertford to Silver Leys on Saturday for their cup quarter final, having finished the league off with a superb win away at Tring last week. Conditions were ideal and we were blessed with the privilege of gracing the first team pitch for what would be our final home game of 2016.

Stortford kicked off and it was clear from the outset that this would be a clash of two very different styles. Hertford used their strong set piece and continuously sent ball carriers up close to the fringes, whilst the younger Stortford side opted to play with width at every opportunity. It was the home side that would strike first; an initial line break from Sperm (playing at 13 this week because Ash Boyle is still fit, and more talented than him) saw him offload out of a good tackle from the Hertford 15 to set his young centre partner, Tiarnan Kelly, free to canter in under the posts. Hertford of course came back at us strongly, and set up good field position immediately from a poorly re-gathered restart. Our defence stood firm on this occasion and we were eventually awarded a penalty from a scrum (though we seemed to be going backwards), which was kicked clear. After some meaningful surges forward from all of our larger than life front row, which consisted of Optimus, De Franca and 3rd team debutante Charlie Bugg, we had good field position which was partially exploited by Ben Stapleton, and then fully exploited as a combination of Brown and Boyle set Will Palombo galloping towards the line; Will managed to offload at the last minute once again to T Kelly who scored his and our second of the day- the youngster seemingly clearing up purely from being the youngest player on the pitch, and fitter than everyone else. Joking, he is annoyingly good for somebody who still plays pass the parcel at his birthday parties.

Hertford came back at us powerfully once again, and soon registered their first try of the day; after they began to assert their dominance both at the scrum and the lineout their powerful number 8 was able to crash over. As the half neared an end there was a slight momentum swing as Hertford got into their rhythm and Stortford’s ill-discipline began to cost them. Hertford scored again on the stroke of half time, as this time their 12 cut back on a good line and bundled over, to leave the half time score at 14-12, just in Stortford’s favour.

The second half saw changes, as we lost captain Slade to an ankle injury we were able to introduce Dean Boyle *applaud* who, alongside Diddy Byatt and Andrew Mackenzie, gave us some much needed energy around the park. Unfortunately our discipline continued to let us down and string of penalties led to John Carter taking one for the team and getting a yellow card. The only positive from this was the introduction of Ben Millard for another cameo, the manager winning 2 turnovers and conceding one penalty (and getting mercilessly bumped), in his eventful 8 minute appearance. Hertford exploited the numerical advantage ruthlessly and scored twice in quick succession, one penalty try from a scrum and one maul which was driven over. This left us 10 points adrift with about 20 minutes to play. We didn’t give up though and we fought back through winger Ben Stapleton, who had worked hard all day, after the immortal Stig dog ran everything with courage, as always, from the back. Unfortunately, it was difficult to suppress the Hertford onslaught and they scored once again as they exploited an exposed blind side. With time running out, hope was given as a neat set piece move saw Stapleton show searing pace as he scored, and Sperm converted his 4th of the day (from 4, shock) to bring us within one point with 2 minutes to play. Sadly, we couldn’t maintain possession and were edged out as Hertford closed the game out in the same fashion as they’d played all afternoon.

A disappointing loss to a strong side, but you can’t win them all and, once the initial pain subsides (normally 3.5 pints in) then I think most of us will appreciate a game like this rather than a one sided 40+ point win that we have experienced in recent weeks. Man of the match was hotly contested; Bugg had a strong debut and De Franca showed well on his comeback (although he nearly died..again). Diddy Byatt, Macca, Dean Boyle and Palombo all battled hard against a very good pack. In the backs Ash Boyle, Stiggy and Stapleton all went well, and I was brilliant. However, Tiarnan Kelly shone the brightest with 2 tries, and great defensive work to keep at bay a very dangerous opponent.

Due to the closeness of this game there actually wasn’t too much f*ck-tardery (just made that up) but, due to our general lack of fitness, intelligence and ability there were still a few golden moments:

- Dan De Mexican; hit the deck, yelled for an inhaler, didn’t have his inhaler, all thought he was in serious trouble… turned out to be absolutely fine.
- Ben Millard; this is maybe a bit harsh as he came on and did us a favour, and actually played very well, BUT he did roll back the years and get sent FLYING backwards as he attempted to tackle the opposing 12.
- Ben Stapleton; through with ball in hand on a 2 on 1, doesn’t know whether to run or pass, does neither and wanders into the opposing 15 to get nailed and truly butcher a try.
- The ref; NOT biased, just consistently making some bizarre decisions. Also got stroppy with me wanting to know how long left (when we were one point down with not many minutes to play).
- Hertford; not letting us win

Unfortunately for John Carter, he was the one who got the yellow card and thus d*ck of the day. To make John’s day even worse following a yellow card and a one point loss, he was also beaten in the downing competition by MoM T (17 year old child, in case you’re unsure).